November 17, 2009

Another tension filled evening as Beloved continues to work through financial issues with his ex.  Unfortunately that continues to spill into the dealings between him and I and my children.

4 Cups, Hanging Man, 10 Swords
 Two repeats from yesterday, the Hanging Man and 10 of Swords.  I am thinking that a more defined spread needs to be used to help me get a better handle on what is being said.  The man in the 4 of Cups is distracted from the three perfect cups he has beside him by the illusion in the air.  Lisa over at Tarot Healing by Lisa, has this to say about the 4 of Cups:

Questions to ask yourself: Am I looking with gratitude on my life circumstances and resources or am I focused on what is missing? Do I set achievable goals for myself or am I happier daydreaming about things that I can not see myself bringing into physical reality? Do I believe that others are more capable of realising their dreams and being successful than I am?

Affirmation: I am grateful for all my creations and the gift of being uniquely me. Anything I can dream, I can do. I set achievable goals for myself.

Staying with Lisa's site, and her discussions of the Hanging Man, this is a time of inertia, in the middle.  Well, I am currently caught in the middle between Beloved and my two teen girls.  There needs to be some give/take between the three of them - is not happening atm.  Lisa mentions a feeling of being stuck;  Yes, I am stuck.  There is so much I could do creatively yet I am held back due to time contraints- my day job (not complaining) and housekeeping/cooking that must occur while at home.  The Aeclectic tarot adds,

Is a card about suspension, not life or death. This is a time of trial or meditation, selflessness, sacrifice, prophecy. The Querent stops resisting; instead he makes himself vulnerable, sacrifices his position or opposition, and in doing so, gains illumination. Answers that eluded him become clear, solutions to problems are found. He sees the world differently, has almost mystical insights. This card can also imply a time when everything just stands still, a time of rest and reflection before moving on. Things will continue on in a moment, but for now, they float, timeless.

The Hanged Man symbolizes such moments of suspension between physical and mystical worlds. Such moments don't last, and they usually require some kind of sacrifice. Sacrifice of a belief or perspective, a wish, dream, hope, money, time or even selfhood. In order to gain, you must give. Sometimes you need to sacrifice cherished positions, open yourself to other truths, other perspectives in order to find solutions, in order to bring about change. One thing is certain, whether the insight is great or small, spiritual or mundane, once you have been the Hanged Man you never see things quite the same. 

Am I really having such a moment?

Lastly comes the 10 of Swords: back to the Aeclectic Tarot.  Tens' indicate completion.

Sometimes everything just... goes... wrong. And this is a card that lets the Querent know that, yes, things are as bad as he fears. The troublesome swords can't get much worse than this, with bad things said about the Querent, perhaps even the ruin of their lives. But as the fellow in the card indicates, the swords have done their worse. You can't be more dead. It is over. 

A very real pain can be seen here.  Other decks portray the man as already dead, the swords pinning his broken body to the ground; in this card we watch his death.  I read somewhere that this card speaks to mental anguish and while Lisa speaks to this in her discussion of this card, I've seen this meaning elsewhere.  I am in control of my own thoughts and reactions, no one else. 

On a brighter note, while walking home yesterday, I had a discovery and connection with the Star.  A card of hope, renewal, returning to basics.